Mistake
by PolHop
Summary: He had a plan to fix his mistake after he bounced the morning after. Too bad the Director of the FBI had other plans. What happens when Garcia gets sent undercover after being left in Derek's bed? I found this old story i wrote in 2015 instead of trashing it I thought I would post it. Enjoy.
1. Prologue

**AN: I was going through my documents last night and came across a story that I wrote in… DRUM ROLL:**

 **AUGUST 2015! (I kinda found a lot of started stories lol)**

 **So instead of trashing them, I'll post them for my lovelies. I PROMISE my life settles after this Friday. I'll get back to updating ASPA. In the meantime. What do you think of this 2015 Polhop story?**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _"Oh shit!"_ Derek looked down at his naked body. _What the hell did I do last night?_

His heart started to race as sweat formed on his brow. With all his might, he tried to recall the events that lead him to where he was right now - laying in his bed, naked with his equally naked best friend.

 _Fuck! I can't believe I did this!_

He looked over at Penelope who was lying on her stomach, with her head under the pillow. Her back was uncovered, his station sheet, just barely covering her rounded ass. Flooded with memories he stared at her. She was marked everywhere. Marks and scratches, marred her body, he could even see a trail of bite marks leading past where the sheet covered her ass.

He'd worshiped her last night. Praising the gods- for creating a creature with an ass like hers.

He felt his body start to awake and he felt instant regret.

 _No! This was not right_!

Best friends don't sleep with each other. Best friends don't kiss so fiercely that the breath is knocked out of you. Best friends don't see each other naked, and taste their hidden pleasures.

 _Holy fuck what did I do?_ he thought to himself. _Okay, I have a couple of options here,_ _I can turn over and bring her body closer to mine and hope for the best when she wakes up._ He looked back down at her body contemplating that option. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. _No I can't do that. I'm not ready to admit my feelings to her yet. That could ruin everything we have. But then again so could this. Fuck! Okay, get it together, Morgan. You love her, yes, but there is no way in hell this is going to end well. I can't admit I love her. No, not yet. Not after sleeping with her, not like this._

He started to slowly get out of bed when he heard Penelope stir. Her movement caused the sheet to fall completely from her, leaving her back completely bare.

 _That's it!_ He needed to get out of there before he did something stupid.

 _Like sleep with her again._

But now that he knew he needed to get out of there, that lead him to a bigger dilemma. How was he going to leave his _own_ house?

Quickly but quietly he donned his workout clothes jotted a note and left it on his side of the bed and bolted to the FBI gym.

He'd stay there all day if he had to.

XXXX

Penelope woke a little groggy and sore. Stretching above her she realized, places in her body that were not normally sore, ached. Opening her eyes, she realized she was not in her bed. Not only that, she became aware she was very naked. Reaching for her glasses she placed donned them, only to be hit with the realization of her whereabouts.

Dread washed through her as she pulled her knees up to her chest and tried to piece together the events of last night.

 _"I love you and will always love you, Baby Girl."_

Derek's voiced echoed in her thoughts.

 _That's right!_

After a few drinks at Joe's Penelope finally started to loosen up and started dancing rather provocative with a stranger. She remembered Derek glaring at her. He ended up pulling her out of the bar explaining to her who she belonged to. And that she knew damn well no man would ever touch her but him.

She remembered he'd slurred his words, but it was spoken with such fire and rage she couldn't help but believe him.

Obviously, she'd been wrong. Derek didn't even stay the morning after in his own home.

 _Oh, god, Garcia what in the frack did you do?_ She felt the panic rise inside her. _You should have put him in a cab and sent him home. However, the few drinks she had also consumed had made the "better judgment" part of her brain take a vacation.._ Looking around again, she did her best to hold back her tears. _Clearly, he didn't mean it when he said he loved you last night._

 _"I love you and I'll always love you, Baby Girl."_

The tears she was holding back finally escaped. When she'd told him last night she was in love with him, she'd meant ever word. She foolishly meant she wanted a life with him and only him. He clearly didn't feel the same way.

Mustering up all her courage she turned to the opposite side of the bed. To her surprises there was a piece of paper.

Her heart soared. _He left a note,_ she thought, before picking it up. _That's good, right?_

Her heart quickly plummeted when she read the two words scribbled in hurried handwriting

 _I'm sorry._

Before she could process her next step, her phone rang. Maybe it was Derek calling to say he was on his way back. Everything was going to be okay.

Glancing at the phone, her heart fell the to the floor once again.

"Hello, Director. What can I help you with?"

 _AN: so what do you think of this 2015 Polhop story? LOL. I have a few chapters of this done and ready. I've got some things to work on now but I'll try and get chapter two up tonight or tomorrow morning :) HAHHA 2015 Polhop Story!_


	2. Three Months Later

**AN: Well I am glad you all liked this 2015 Polhop story. Like I said there are chapters already done. So, I am just going to post them.**

 **Love you guys!**

 **Polhop**

* * *

 **Three Months Later**

Morgan paced around the bullpen waiting for Hotch to arrive. Today was the day, and he wasn't missing his chance. Morgan knew he was anxious he'd been in the office since 5:30 am waiting for absolutely any sign.

When Hotch stepped off the elevator Morgan jumped to open the door for him.

"You're here awful early, Morgan," Hotch stated, moving into the bullpen. Morgan didn't miss the sideways glance Hotch had given him.

Ignoring him, he asked, "Penelope's coming back today, right? You said three months and today is exactly three months to the day. She's gonna be here soon right?"

As he waited for an answer, he had to make sure to ground his feet so he wouldn't start pacing again. He'd gotten enough comments from the team about his weird behavior, he didn't need to hear anymore from Hotch about how he was acting strange. He couldn't help it though. He hadn't told anyone about sleeping with Penelope, or how he had been a complete idiot and ran out on her.

He could still feel his heart break every time he thought about the following Monday morning after it happened.

 _"Thanks_ _for coming in early, everyone," Hotch said, as he made his way into the round table room._

 _Reid looked around curiously before speaking, "Where's Garcia?"_

 _"That's why I called you all in this morning," Hotch said. The sadness in Hotch's eyes wasn't missed._

 _"Where is she, Hotch?" Morgan asked as his heart sped up. She had been gone by the time he made it back to his house later that night. He also hadn't heard from her at all Sunday. But in all honesty, he wasn't that surprised he had hoped they could have a pow-wow at work today and fix everything._

 _"She was assigned to go undercover over the weekend. The Directed needed someone of her skill set to bring down a criminal ring," Hotch stated._

 _The room went completely still as everyone struggled to grasp what Hotch had just informed them._

 _"She went undercover?" Prentiss asked, before she slammed down her coffee._

 _"She's not trained to go under!" Rossi spat, jumping up from his seat._

 _"I know. I voiced all of my concerns to the Director already and he reassured me she would be well looked after."_

 _"Sir, I request to go under with her and be her bodyguard until she can be brought back safety," Morgan said, keeping his face neutral as his insides were in a complete panic. This was instant karma for waking out instead of telling her how he felt._

 _"I suggested that as well," Hotch said. "No one, and I mean no one would be able to take better care of her than you. But the Directer didn't want us to be down an additional person."_

 _Morgan couldn't hold back anymore; his panic was getting the better of him. His calm demeanor shifted, and he spat, "this is bullshit! She's not an agent. She shouldn't be doing anything that her team can't be there with her! She_ _doesn't do well with shit like this. Where the fuck is she, Hotch?" Morgan jumped up from his seat standing over Hotch._

 _"Agent Morgan, stand down. Whether you like it or not she will be gone for the next three months," Hotch remarked moving closer to Morgan._

 _There was nothing more he could do. He pushed past Hotch and stormed into the bullpen knocking over a stack of papers as he walked by._

"Yes, Morgan, I got the paperwork yesterday afternoon she'll be in sometime this morning," Hotch said, moving past Derek to headed to his office.

Morgan's heart sped up. This was the day he had been waiting for. He hoped she'd missed him as much as he missed her. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Every thought he had she consumed.

He played their meeting over in his head thousands of times the last three months. What if she didn't want to speak with him again? what if she hated him? Or what if she hadn't stopped thinking about him too and wanted to run into his arms? No matter how unlikely the last scenario was, it was the one the envisioned the most. "Do you know what time she'll be here?" he pleaded.

"No, but if I had to guess, I'd say probably around eleven or so. She needs to speak with the Director first then she'll come down." Hotch walked into his office leaving Morgan to his continued meltdown.

After a few moments, Morgan made his way over to his desk. He was letting his nerves get the better of him. His normal calm cool collective style was long gone. He was a wreck. His knees bounced and his palms were sweaty. Every time he heard the door open he anxiously looked up hoping it would be her- only to see one of his other team members make their way into the office.

Around 10:30 Morgan had almost had enough. He was about to go off on everyone – which had now become the norm for him - when Hotch stepped out of his office along with Rossi.

"Kitten! You look fantastic!" Rossi's words brought Morgan's attention from them to the bullpen door.

There stood Penelope Garcia in all her glory. Rossi was right she did look fantastic, she had lost some weight and her hair was freshly highlighted. He also noticed her glasses were gone. Her makeup wasn't as dramatic as it normally was and her clothes were a little less eccentric, but still crazy as ever. It was his Garcia, standing there in the flesh.

"Rossi!" she squealed as she ran into his arms giving him a huge hug and kiss.

There were 'I missed you' and 'you look fantastic' all around as she made her way through everyone saying hello.

When she made it to him, his heart was in his throat. This was the moment of truth, would she slap him across the face? Would she kiss him like he hoped she would? Maybe she would look past his hasty departure and was willing to forgive him?

She stood in front of him. Her eyes dark -not their normally cheerful self. "Hey, Baby Girl, I missed you," he quietly spoke.

She gave him a small smile and hugged him with one arm around his shoulders before turning back to Reid. "So, Boy Genius, did you miss me? Any new Doctor Who things I should know about?"

Morgan stood there shock. She dismissed him. Complete and utterly dismissed him. She wouldn't even give him a real hug _and_ she turned her back to him. Like he was "Bob" in payroll. Of all the scenarios he thought could happen this was never one of them.

Morgan moved to tap her on her shoulder to get her attention back on him. But she must have felt it coming. She moved into Hotch's arms giving _him_ a real hug, not like the pansy ass half hug she gave him.

"Everything is how you left it," Hotch assured her.

"Yeah, we wouldn't let anyone touch a thing in your office," Reid explained with a boyish smile on his face.

"It's so good to have you back, PG. We all missed you like crazy," Emily said giving her a hug.

"It's true, kitten. Go put your stuff down in your office and we'll all go out to eat to celebrate your welcome back," Rossi said.

"Deal, my fine fury heroes." She moved towards the door. "I'll be back in a flash."

"Good! I can't wait to hear all about your assignment!" JJ said, following her towards her office.

Morgan was still dumbfounded on the way she treated him. Years of being best friends and that all he got was a half hug. Not even a fucking hello. Sure she might still be pissed about how things went down _but_ years of friendship had to mean something to her, right?

He looked over at Hotch who was staring at him intensely. Hotch wasn't a dumb man, he knew something went down between him and Garcia but Morgan never fessed up what it was. And with the way she acted just now Hotch probably had more proof now than ever.

XXXX

About fifteen minutes later Morgan watched Emily, JJ, and Garcia walk into the hallway. He needed to figure out a way to get her alone even if it was only for five minutes. This was driving him crazy. At this point, words could wait. He needed to feel the softness of her lips against his. Then she could yell at him all she wanted.

Moving into the hall with the rest of the team, he kept his eye on Garcia as they started to head to the restaurant across the street.

When they made it outside, Emily spoke, "Don't look now, PG, but there is a creeper following your every move."

Garcia turned to the man Emily had mentioned and Derek watched as her eyes lit up. She ran full speed into the stranger's arms, letting him spin her around.

"What in the world are you doing here?" Garcia squealed with excitement.

"I came to check on you. How's the side?" he said as he lifted her shirt to examine the bruises that were present.

Morgan felt his blood boil at the sight of her marked skin.

"Oh God, Penelope! What happened?" JJ hollered.

Penelope was draped over the man. She looked around at her team, concern marring her face. He knew he wasn't the only one with a stunned and angry expression.

"I'm fine," she assured them. "It was just a little mishap on the last few days undercover."

Rossi moved closer before speaking, "what do you mean mishap?"

"Don't worry, my Italian Stallion, we can talk about it over lunch." Garcia turned to the man she was still holding onto. "Do you want to come eat with us?"

"Well, I am here to see you and if you're going to lunch then so am I," he said with a gleam in his eyes.

Morgan watched in horror as Garcia hung herself all over this man. Who the hell was he and why was he all over _his_ Baby Girl? He stepped in front of the two. "And you might be?" he growled.

"Oh yeah," Garcia said, "I guess I should introduce you. Everyone, this is Logan Gatlin, my husband."

* * *

 _AN: Dum, Dum, Dum. No worries. Like I said a lot of these chapters are already done and will be posted soon. So what do you think?_


	3. Husband?

**AN: I NEED YOUR HELP!**

 **PLEASE!** **I have been going crazy looking for a specific M/G Fanfic. I can't seem to find it anywhere. This was a 5-7 chapter story where Derek is drunk at a Church, thinking about how Penelope had moved on and was marring Lynch. The first chapter is someone giving up and throwing a ring in a lake (we are made to believe it's Derek). The Script's song Breakeven is mentioned as well. I specifically remember Derek at a Pew in a Church "praying to a god he doesn't believe in" In the end**

 ***** Spoiler*****

 **She doesn't marry Lynch and the person throwing the ring in chapter one was Lynch and not Derek.** **I know the author might have taken it down. And I am cool with that I just really want to know who the author was and what the story was called. I've been searching for days.** **If anyone can give me any solid info on this story I will write a story dedicated to you anything you want. And I will love you forever and tell my dog how amazing of a person you are.**

 **ANYWAY, on to the story. I'm glad you all are liking it.**

 **Love you,**

 **PolHop**

* * *

"Y-your what?" Morgan sputtered, nearly falling over.

"My husband. Oh well, I guess my pseudo husband. We were a married couple when I was undercover," Penelope answered smiling at Gatlin like they held secrets that no one was privileged to know but them.

"We can continue the charade if you want, peaches? I for one, have never been more rocked then I was with you as my wife," Gatlin stated.

Penelope swatted him on the arm. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!" she joked.

"You were in Vegas?" Reid asked. Clearly the kid wanted to hear everything about her undercover trip now.

"Yeah, we were flown there Saturday afternoon when the Director told us about the case," Penelope answered.

"Sin City - and did we ever live up to its name," Gatlin remarked with a coy smile never taking his eyes off of Penelope.

"I'll say." Penelope giggled.

"Come on, P, or should I say, Sherry?" Without waiting for an answer, Gatlin picked her up tossing her over his shoulder swatting her bottom when she flared. He walked over to the group and put out is hand. "Let me properly introduce myself. I'm Logan Gatlin. Before we went undercover I was assigned to the FBI swat team in Denver. I was pulled from the team when they needed someone that could protect this precious cargo here. They wanted the best, so they got the best." He swatted Penelope's bottom again, when she tried to move off his shoulder. "So, I was reassigned to be her husband, who worked in construction."

Flaring around, Penelope squealed, "Put me down, Hot Cheeks!"

"Are you gonna run away?" Gatlin asked.

"Probably, you know how much I love when you chase me around."

"I like it when I catch you better." Gatlin placed his hand on her bottom, causing a growl to come from Morgan.

"You, naughty agent you!" she hollered.

"Hey what can I say? I got me a hot little mama here who is willing to take away all my pain."

"O-M-G, remember when you came home from the site and you had that welt on your head an-"

"Garcia!" Gatlin interrupted. "We were never gonna talk about that again."

"I wanna know!" Emily interjected. The energy coming from Garcia and Gatlin was infectious.

Gatlin shrugged. "I can kick anyone's ass, snipe a shot from miles away, and defuse a bomb, but carpenter I ain't," Gatlin announced with a smile so wide it rivaled Morgan's.

"Baby, can you please put me down, you don't need to carry me across the street. I can walk," Penelope stated.

"That's what you said _before_ you got hurt. _Don't worry so much, Logan, I can take care of myself_. And look at how bad your side is messed up?"

"But even if you were right there I still would have gotten hurt," she tried to justify.

"Fine." Gatlin placed Penelope on the ground wrapping his arms around her tight. Letting one arm casually drape across her chest as they walked to the restaurant.

Morgan felt like his world had been turned upside down as he watched the interactions. He could barely breath as Gatlin – the asshole that was about to get a boot up his ass - hung all over _his_ women. Wait. Was Penelope still his women? Hell yes, she was! He just needed to get her alone for while so they could work everything out. Tell her he panicked and that's why he left. Then confess his love for her.

"So what are you having?" Penelope asked Gatlin as they sat down at the table.

"Are _you_ on the menu?" Gatlin's asked as eyes danced.

Morgan, tried but failed to suppress a growl. _What the hell was going on between those two? Did they… Where they… HELL NO!_

Morgan was about to say something when he heard JJ speak. "Can you tell us about the case?" she asked, clearly eager to hear all the details and if her eyes were any indications, she wanted to know _all_ the details.

Penelope turned from Gatlin to answer JJ. "There was a group of smugglers using false building material to bring into the states. They needed me to to track the shipments, whereas my big hunk of man meat needed to be on the ground exposing the goods," Penelope answered.

"How'd you get hurt?" Rossi asked.

"Right before we took down the group, I went down to the site to bring some information to Logan and I saw one of the guys trying to hide something. And well we all know how I am, I ended up bringing some unwanted attention to myself-"

"Did they hurt you?" Derek interrupted. Every word she continued to speak ended up digging a knife deepening into his heart. This was _his_ Penelope. She should never have been in any situation that could have harmed her in any way. If he was the one protecting her, she would have never gotten hurt.

"Unfortunately, yes. When I got to her, they had her pinned to the ground." Gatlin, still physically upset by it shook his head. "When they threw her down she hit some 2x4's causing the bruised ribs," Gatlin continued with his head down in shame.

"Where the fuck were you, aren't you supposed to protect her? You should have been there," Derek spat.

"Relax, Agent Morgan. He did more than protect me during our undercover operation. He put me back together." Penelope gave him a pointed look that didn't go in noticed by Hotch.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Derek demanded.

"It means just that." She turned to Gatlin, once again dismissing him. "How long are you in Quantico?"

"As long as you'll have me, Sweetheart," Gatlin cooed, as he pulled her closer to his side.

"Hey, you know I'll never turn down a good offer. You can stay by my side forever," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"I'll be here for a while," Gatlin finally said. "I just signed a short lease on an apartment."

"Are you going to be working with our field office?" Penelope's eyes danced with excitement.

"Yep, the Director told me last night when I went out to drinks with him."

Rossi clearly was impressed. And if Derek didn't hate the guy, he'd be impressed too. The Director didn't like to interact with agents.

"Where are you staying?" Penelope asked, still so engrossed with Gatlin, the rest of the team could have ben invisible.

Gatlin smiled. "The apartments off Gail and Robinson,"

"No freakin' way! Those are a block from where I live," Penelope said with excitement.

"Oh that's good. I can come over and borrow sugar whenever I feel like it," he purred.

Penelope spoke seductively, "you can't borrow what I'd willing give you, papa bear."

"Enough of the double meanings, PG," Emily joked. "Now tell us all about the actual mission."

"Don't think you are off the hook though, missy," JJ remarked. "First girls' night, you are spilling _everything."_

Penelope smiled.

The meal continued as normal with Garcia and Gatlin telling all about their undercover operative.

Derek didn't say a word. He just stayed focused on Penelope and let his thoughts run free. _Had she moved on? Did their night together mean nothing to her?_

Inwardly he sighed. He couldn't blame her. All he left her was a fucking note with two words on it.

 _Derek walked into his house after spender six hours at the FBI gym. It was exactly what he needed. He'd cleared his head and decided that when he saw Penelope again he was going to talk with her. He'd explain that he never wanted their first time he to be so frenzied like it was. He wanted to remember ever inch of her. And if she was willing to let him, he'd take her on a date. Fix his mistake._

 _He searched every room for any sign of her, but she was long gone; the note he had written her crumbled in a ball on his side of the bed._

Of course, she was pissed and hurt. He foolishly panicked and made her feel like just another number. He did reach out to her though text Saturday night, but she never responded. In all honestly, he thought they could work it all out at work.

The day never came, though. Three months was a long time not to hear from your best friend. Even longer, after finally giving into all the urges he had.

As he looked at Penelope and Gatlin, he was only sure of one thing.

He fucked up. Big time.

XXXX

"I'll see you later, my Prince Charming," Garcia said walking towards the building looking over her shoulder at Gatlin.

Gatlin ran after her swatting her bottom lightly. "Now, sweetheart, are you really gonna leave me like that? I've grown rather found of our goodbye kisses."

"But that was all a show, pumpkin". Penelope winked.

"Wasn't for me." He threaded his fingers through her hair bringing his lips to hers in a heated embrace.

"You go, PG!" Emily hollered.

 _That was it!_

Derek was done waiting for her to come to him, or for there to be a better opportunity for this, much needed, conversation. He jogged to Penelope yanking her out of Gatlin's arms. "We need to talk and right now!"

Derek turned to Hotch. "We'll be back in an hour, if you need us call my cell." He then dragged her away from the building towards the park.

Ignoring her protests, he tried to calm the feelings that were running haywire inside of him. Once they were far enough away, he spoke, "What the fuck is going on Penelope?"

She looked at him like he had lost his mind. "Excuse me?"

"Are you fucking that guy?" he demanded.

"What's it to you?" she shot back.

"You know where you belong and who you belong to. We had this conversation at the bar that night!" he growled.

That was the wrong thing to say to her. She spun around and slapped him as hard as she could across the face. "You will never bring up that night again, Agent Morgan. You lost all right to care about me the moment you bolted from your _own_ house." She snorted remembering the morning. "Really Morgan, I disgusted you that much you had to leave your own damn house?"

"It wasn't like that," he protested.

"I don't give a shit what it was like. I don't need you in my life anymore." She started to walk away.

"I told you: I loved you!" he hollered halting her movements. _Thank God,_ he thought. _Maybe now she will listen to me._

She turned to face him, the hurt written all over her expression. "...and then you left the next morning. If that doesn't scream _mistake_ I don't know what else does?"

"I panicked," he said softly.

"And you expect me to believe you?"

"It's the truth. You know I love you and you love me."

She stared him in the eyes, and with as much conviction as she could muster, she said, "The stupidest thing I ever did was love you."

"No." Derek panicked again. He couldn't lose her. He grabbed her wrist pulling her to his body crashing his lips to hers.

At first, she responded, but then, just as quickly pushed him away. "Agent Morgan, you do that again and I'll file a sexual harassment charge against you. We might have to work on the same team but I will never and I mean _never_ be anything more than a coworker to you. "

"You don't mean that!" he pleaded with her.

"Goodbye, Agent Morgan. I hope you're able to live with yourself knowing you pushed away probably the only person in the world that would love you like I did."

"Do!" he hollered. "You still love me, don't say you don't."

"I wish I never loved you." With those parting words, she left.

He stood there for a moment. His world falling apart as he watched the woman he loved leave. What had he done?

* * *

 _AN: So, what do you think? Also, if you know what story I am talking about I will love you forever._


	4. Heartbreak

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews everyone. And also for the people who remember that story. If you ever come across it please let me know. It has been driving me crazy.**

 **So there is MAJOR backstory in this chapter. 2015 Polhop really wanted to get her character development out. HAHA**

* * *

Penelope moved around her apartment as she tried to distract herself from the events of the day with cleaning. So many things were going through her mind. She was still dealing with the aftermaths of the undercover operation, then add on top everything that had happened with Derek.

The last three months were hard for her. There were so many times she would find herself looking at the mirror wondering why she wasn't good enough. What made her that repulsive that he would sneak out of his own house to get away from her.

Plopping down onto her couch, she winced in pain. Her sides were still heavily bruised. What she wouldn't give to just do the last few months over. Well, no that wasn't right, she would just want a do over that night at the bar. She wouldn't change her time with Logan for the world.

Their first couple of days undercover, she kept her distance from Logan. She was still dealing with the pain Derek had caused her and one look at Logan Gatlin and she knew he would be trouble. He was – from what she could gather for her searches – Denver's equivalent to Quantico's Derek Morgan.

So, she set out to do whatever it took to conclude the mission and with as little interaction with Logan as possible.

However, that all changed on their first weekend together. Penelope hadn't realized she had been crying into her tea until Logan brought over some tissues and started rubbing her back. It was such a kind gesture, it made her cry even harder.

That whole night instead of asking her what was the matter, he instead, made sure there were tissues always at hand and comforted her any way he could. She ended up falling asleep on his lap with him rubbing her back.

The next morning, she was completely mortified. She tried to explain, but Logan insisted on her just getting better. The rest of the weekend, he would run her a bath, cook her food, and even rub her feet. Never once demanding to know what her problem was.

Sunday night instead of going to their separate bedrooms, they ended up in Logan's room, where he proceeded to hold her the whole night. Finally, the next morning she told him everything, from the first time Derek had called her Baby Girl, falling in love with him, all the way up to him leaving his own house after sleeping with her.

Instead of judging her, Logan only nodded in understand and held her. She hadn't realized how much hurt Derek had truly caused when he left her until that moment. All of the years loving him, the temperature always rising, until the devastating fall once they had finally slept together.

Logan helped her sort out all her feelings. He never pushed for more, and when she wanted to talk about it, he was there. He was her rock. He was there when she thought she couldn't go on another day with all the hurt inside her.

Slowly with Logan's help she started to turn around. She would find entertaining things to occupy her time when she wasn't working on the case. Logan would bring home puzzles and games for them to do together.

One night, not long after her first meltdown, she asked Logan about the rumors she'd heard about him. How for all intents and purposes he was the Derek Morgan of Denver. That was the night she finally understood the person that was Logan Gatlin.

Right after collage. Logan was set to marry his long-term girlfriend, Holly. Apparently, their love was such a true love, a newspaper wanted to write an article about them. The article turned out to be hit, and in their hometown, they became somewhat local celebrities. Unfortunately, that caused some unwanted attention. Holly ended up with a stalker. Weird encounters went on for months, until one day Logan came home to find Holly, raped and murdered in their bed.

Thankfully, they found the guy who did it. He had rooms in his apartment full of pictures of Holly. He had taken the article that was written about them and crossed out Logan's name, and instead inserted his. He had super imposed his pictures over Logan's and was truly living as Logan and Holly's story was his and Holly's.

At first, Logan tried to cope by drinking and drugs. He did anything he could to drown out the pain. He'd sleep with anyone willing. Thankfully, one night he met a guy in the bar, that put him on the straight and narrow. He pushed Logan to take his hurt and make something of it. So, after getting clean, he applied to the FBI and ended up in the Denver field office.

After hearing Logan's story, Penelope couldn't help but feel foolish. Here she was upset because she had unrequited love, when Logan had truly lost everything.

 _"I'm such an idiot. Here you are, you've actually lived through hell, and I'm crying over some guy who doesn't feel the same way," she said wiping away the tears from her eyes._

 _"Penelope, I didn't tell you this story so you would think I had it worse than you. I told you this story to explain to you that I understand heartbreak," he spoke softly._

 _"But yours is real heartbreak."_

 _"There is no such thing as real and fake heartbreak." He pulled her into his arms. "I understand heartbreak. What you're going through right now, even though it was completely different than mine, it's still heartbreak."_

 _She watched him in awe._

 _Coughing, he turned away a little. "I was able to give up the drinking and drugs. The woman, however, they still help numb the pain."_

 _Penelope nodded. "You sleeping around doesn't seem like it's that big of a deal anymore."_

 _Logan cocked his head to the side. "Are the rumors you heard the reason why you kept your distance form me in the beginning?"_

 _"Guilty."_

 _"We all have our demons."_

After that night, something changed between the two of them. They became inseparable. And slowly but surely, Penelope became her old self again. She took all the hurt that Derek had caused her and channeled it into becoming a better person a stronger person. And Logan was there every step of the way.

She had all but accepted the fact that Logan was going back to Denver, and seeing him today made her feel like her world was correct again. Her security blanket was back.

She was dreading dealing with Derek again, but seeing Logan made everything okay. She was able to stand up to Derek. His pathetic excuse of him panicking was almost as bad as him leaving in the first place.

She closed her eyes, trying to wash away the events of the day.

 _That kiss._

That kiss… When Derek had his lips against hers the world around her had disappeared.

No matter how many times she kissed Logan, it never felt like that.

Never.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door.

Opening her eyes, she carefully moved to open it. All the moving around today, really bothered her bruises.

Opening the door, she couldn't help but smile.

"I think I am in need of some sugar."

* * *

 _AN: Man, 2015 PolHop was kinda mean to leave it here. Thank the world I have the next chapter done. I guess I wanted to really showcase Logan and his side of everything. Logan isn't a bad guy here. Instead he is somehow her savior when she needed it most._


	5. The Derek Morgan

**AN: Thank you for all the love.**

 **UPDATE: I am so sorry this took forever to post FF was being so weird and wouldn't let me post anything for over a week. I have been sitting on updates WAITING to post. So, for everyone that commented and emailed asking where the next one was, I am so sorry. I am happy to announce all seems to be back to normal in the world of FF. This is my last already made chapter for this story, but have no fear I will be writing the next one ASAP.**

 **Much love,**

 **PolHop**

* * *

Derek watched as Gatlin made his way into Penelope's apartment. His blood boiled. He had planned on going to her apartment to talk and work things out. What a surprise it was to see Gatlin already there. _What was up with this guy?_

Derek had it all planned out. He was going to walk into her apartment, get on his hands and knees and beg for her to listen to him. Penelope was his everything. It took a while for him to realize that, but now that he was no longer afraid to embrace it, he wanted to move their relationship forward. He knew he could convince her to forgive him.

Too bad, something huge stood in their way.

 _Gatlin._

After Penelope left him in the park, he did his research with regard to Gatlin, but came up empty. For all intents and purposes, Gatlin was the ideal agent. No wonder Rossi was so impressed with him, or Penelope for that matter.

Looking down at his watch, Derek's jaw clenched.

"I couldn't have lost my chance."

Something inside of him broke. This was _his_ Penelope and she was inside her apartment with another man. A man that was her protector, her confidant, her husband – even though it was fake - for three months. That didn't sit well with him. Especially with the way they were acting together. Their intimacy showed him one thing: he had been replaced.

But could he blame her?

He took a deep breath before shifting his SUV into drive. He was going to come up with a plan. A plan that would win Penelope back. Nothing was going to stop him. Gatlin, be damned.

XXXX

"Logan, silly boy, what are you doing here?" Penelope asked, bringing Logan into her arms for a hug.

"I wanted to check out your place," he said moving out of her arms and into her living room. She watched as he took in her space. The smile spreading across his face made her melt inside. "So, what do you think?" she asked.

Turning toward her, he replied, "I think it screams, Penelope Garcia." He moved to her couch before sitting down.

"Do you want anything to drink, love bug?"

"A water will be fine," he replied. She nodded before going into the kitchen to retrieve two bottles of water. Returning back to the living room, she handed him one.

"Sit, baby," he said, pulling on her wrist for her to fall onto the couch.

"Oof," she said, as she landed. "No rough housing." She laughed.

"That's not what you said last week."

"True."

They both sat in silence for a few minutes. Something about having Logan near her and in her home, calmed her. And after today that was exactly what she needed. She needed something to help settle her and Logan had become that. When she turned to him, she noticed him staring at her very intensely. "What?" she asked.

"So that's Derek Morgan. _The_ Derek Morgan?"

"Not holding any punches, are you?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Penelope," he warned.

She turned away before answering, "Yeah. That's him. The man the owned my whole heart. The man who also destroyed, said heart."

"Owns," Logan corrected.

"Huh?"

"Owns, your heart not owned." He looked at her so intently, she had to suck in her breath.

"Logan-"

"How are you doing?" he interrupted.

Taking a deep breath, she shrugged her shoulders. "Seeing him again was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

"You knew it was going to be rough. Hell, I knew it was going to be rough for you-"

"Is that why you are here?" she interrupted.

Logan at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"I knew it!" she yelled. "You came here on purpose. I can take care of myself."

"I never said you couldn't," he remarked. Logan grabbed onto her arm pulling her into his lap. "I know what you went through. I had some favors I could cash in and I figured there would never be a better person to cash them in for. So here I am."

She smiled. "You are one of a kind, Logan Gatlin."

"Don't you know it," he said with a laugh causing her to slap is arm jokingly.

"You are too much."

"How was your talk with Morgan?" he asked.

"It went exactly how I thought it would." Logan waited expectantly. When she didn't go on, he nudged her arm gently. "He gave me a stupid excuse."

"And what was that excuse?"

"He panicked."

Logan nodded.

"You know, I would have done anything in the world for Derek to treat me the way he did that night, whisper those words into my ear. Kiss me the way he did. I would have given my life to hear them… but now. Now, I would give _anything_ to turn back time and never hear those things from him."

Logan once again nodded.

"And to think, he actually believes that if he says he is sorry, I would just crawl back on my hands and knees to him."

"He probably doesn't think that," Logan said.

"No, he does. And it's my fault. I was at his beck and call. He would want something and I would drop _everything_ and go to him. He'd shoot me one of those, panty dropping smiles and I would melt. He could ask me to eat a hunk of meat and I would without even questioning it."

"Not good for a vegetarian."

"No," she replied. "Not good for a vegetarian. God, I was so pathetic, Logan. And now he thinks all he needs to do is apologize and I will run back into his arms." She huffed. "Arms that were probably wrapped around someone else this past weekend."

Logan stared at her, not speaking. He did this from time to time. He would analyze her, at first, she hated it, but after a while she was used to it. In a way, it made it easier to communicate. It was like he could understand her without her having to say a word.

"New subject," he said finally breaking the silence.

"Finally!" she rejoiced.

"Tell me a little about the BAU and its members."

"I've already told you most of it when we were undercover," she said.

"Yeah, but I want to know about the people."

"Why?" She jumped from his lap going over to her TV. "The Avengers good?" she asked, holding up the movie.

"Anything you want, baby," he said moving off the couch to stand next to her. She turned to face him, and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

After a few seconds, he pulled back. "What was that for?" she asked.

"I won't be able to do that at work, now will I?" he said.

"Well, no," she stammered. "Umm what do you mean at work?"

He stepped back. "You are looking at the newest Agent of the BAU."

She felt her heart soar as she jumped into his arms.

* * *

 _AN: Don't hate Logan. Logan is a good guy. I promise._


	6. Welcome to the Team

**AN: Thank you all for your continued support. I will spend the afternoon replying to my reviews on my stories. I just really wanted to get this out. I know it had been a few weeks.**

 **For everyone saying #TeamLogan OH MY GOD! I have never laughed so hard in my life. You guys are amazing.**

 **Love you,**

 **Polhop**

* * *

Derek sat at the round table never taking his eyes off of the door. He knew Penelope would be walking in any moment to present the case that they had gotten word of earlier that morning. His knee bounced as his palms started to sweat. All night long he couldn't get the picture of Gatlin at Penelope's apartment out of his head. Had he stayed the night? Where they actually sleeping together? At this point, even if she were sleeping with Gatlin, Derek was going to do everything he could to prove to Penelope he was the only man for her. No matter what he had to do to prove it.

"Morgan, why are you here so early?" Hotch asked as he made his way into the room.

"I want to get the details on this case," he said, still not taking his eyes off of the door.

"Hmm." Hotch nodded as he stared at his agent. At this point, Derek knew Hotch suspected what happened between him and Penelope. But he honestly didn't care.

Slowly the rest of the team started to make their way into the room. Derek was about to lose it. Where in the hell was she?

"Sorry, we're late," Penelope said running into the room. Gatlin right behind her.

"You're not late," Hotch remarked taking his seat.

"It was my fault," Gatlin announced. "When the call came in this morning, we had to run back over to my place to get a go bag."

Morgan sat there, his bold rushing through his veins. Why the fuck was Gatlin even there? And better yet, why in the hell was he at Garcia's house in the _middle of the night!_

"Gatlin, good to see you again, son," Rossi said holding out his hand to shake Gatlin's.

"Right back at ya," Gatlin replied, before taking a seat right next to him.

"Why are you sitting here?" Derek asked. "These are closed meetings and right now we need to get started on this case." Morgan wanted to punch the smug look off Gatlin's face that had appeared. This guy was getting on his absolute last nerve and he was liable to snap at any moment.

"Yes," Hotch spoke. "I would like to have everyone give their warmest welcome to Gatlin. He is the newest member of the BAU."

Morgan's eyes widened as he jumped to his feet. "Are you fucking kidding me? No way in hell he should be on this team. He brings nothing new to help us. _I_ am the one that can defuse a bomb. _I'm_ the one on the team that can kick anyone's ass. I'm— "

"Ahh, but Morgan, can you snip a shot like I can?" Logan smirked.

"I bet I can out shoot you any day," Morgan sneered.

"Gentleman, and I am using that term very loosely," Rossi spoke. "This is not a pissing contest."

"Agreed," Hotch said. "Gatlin is here to stay."

Morgan looked around the room as he fumed in his anger. Everyone was staring at him, including a wide-eyed Penelope. Instead of saying anything else he sat down and glared at the man that came into his life and ruined it.

"Well," Penelope chirped. "Might as well get this party started."

"Mmm hmm," Gatlin mumbled.

"Anyway, looks like you all will be headed to sunny Florida. Home of Disney World, tourists, and lots and lots of bugs," she said, before turning on the screen to show pictures of the case. "We are being called in to help catch a serial killer. Over the past four months there have been a total of five murders." Five pictures came across the screen. "It seems as though our unsub has a thing for woman, but when he's done with them he likes to play doctor."

She turned her head before the next images appeared. "As you can see, he didn't like keeping them whole."

"Why did they wait so long to call us?" Reid asked.

"Not sure," she replied.

"That doesn't matter," Hotch remarked. Getting up from his seat, he said, "Wheels up in thirty."

Morgan watched as the team gathered their belongings and left the room. All but Gatlin and Garcia, had left.

"Babe, you gonna be okay here on your own?" Gatlin asked walking over to Garcia.

She turned to him, a wide smile spread across her face. "Silly boy, I've been doing this for years. Basically, you all go off and be uber awesome super heroes, and I stay here and be all kick ass."

He nodded as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "You don't ever go with the team?"

"Sometimes she does," Morgan chimed in. Their intimate touch sending a new wave of anger through him. "Right, Garcia? Remember when we were in Alaska and there was a shortage of rooms so we had to double up? You and I got pretty cozy."

She tuned to him, her eyes narrow. "You mean when you slept on the _floor_?"

He coughed as he heard Gatlin chuckle.

"Hey, now, we all can't be lucky enough to share a bed with the one and only Oracle of All Knowing," Gatlin teased. "Only few get to cuddle up next to her at night."

"Is that what you were doing at her place last night?" Morgan sneered.

Garcia walked in front of Morgan ignoring Gatlin's remark. How would you know he was at my place last night?"

Morgan crossed his arms over his chest not backing away from her. "I saw it," he said.

Her eyes widened as her nostrils flared with anger. "Are you stalking me?" she demanded.

"Alright," Gatlin remarked pulling Garcia by the arm closer to him. "Let's not start this right now. We do have a case to solve." He looked at his watch. "We'll be wheels up soon, and Pen, I still have a few questions."

Penelope turned to Gatlin. Morgan watched as all the annoyance she was previously feeling melted away from her. "Anything for you, my hunk of burning love." She grabbed onto Gatlin's arm as she lead him out of the room. "Let's go to my office."

"This isn't done!" Morgan hollered as he watched them retreat form view. This was all sorts of fucked up. He was tired of watching her go off with this buffoon. Not when she was meant to be one _his_ arm.

Taking a deep breath, he gathered his own belongs. Maybe being away for a few days could help him come up with a game plan. He did feel a small pang of relief. The one thing he had going for him was the fact Gatlin was not going to be anywhere near Garcia until they were back. And if he had it his way, by the time they got back, Gatlin would be heading back to Denver.

* * *

 _AN: Thank you for reading. I love you all. Did you like?_


	7. Stress

**AN: Hello my beautiful friends! It's kinda funny, I haven't planned on writing for a while, but the other day I had an itch to work on something. Then today I was given a "clear" sign to write G/M. I've been really busy working on my career and stuff but I have not abandoned you. I am free the next few days. I can't promise anything but I hope to get some updates out for you all.**

 **Love you all,**

 **PolHop**

* * *

"Hit me up when you need something else," Penelope annonced before signing off. Once the screen was dark she took a deep cleansing breath. Getting back into the swing of things since going undercover was fine. It was like riding a bike. She was okay with that aspect of her job. What _was_ stressing her out was the constant bickering between Logan and Derek. They had been on the case in Florida for four days now, and every time she was needed, it was an all-out war between them. They would blatantly fight over who was going to speak to her and relay the information. Not only that, they ever verbally assaulting one another in the presences of the team and the other officers.

It was beyond stressful, not only for her, but for everyone involved. They were making a difficult job, that much harder.

Massaging her temples, Penelope closed her eyes. However, it was short lived. Her phone beeped signaling she had a new text message.

 _Pen, babe, you okay? You seemed a little off before you hung up._

Penelope shook her head. God, she loved Logan, she really did, but if he didn't see her stress and anguish was partly his fault she was going to murder him the second he got back.

Quickly typing out a message she sent her send.

 _I'm fine. I just really wish you and Morgan would stop arguing constantly. The tension is affecting us all. The case already has everyone on edge with the new body turning up last night. We don't need you two acting like caveman too_

She only had to wait a few seconds before she got a message back.

 _I'm sorry, babe. I know it's rough and tensions are high. Maybe, in my own weird way I feel like I'm causing him shit because of the way he treated you._

She felt anger run through her.

 _WHAT? Are you kidding me? Do not mess with him "for me" you both are on a case! You're being unprofessional and a total ass!_

She hit send. She was about to throw her phone back into her purse when it beeped.

 _No, baby, you misunderstand. But, I hear you. I'm sorry. As of right now I'll leave it all alone and focus on the case. No more messing around. Forgive me?_

She didn't want to.

 _You know you want to. Plus, if you forgive me I promise to give you the BEST massage you've ever had when we get home. Feet, arms, legs, back… I'll massage it all ;)_

She couldn't help but smile. She could be completely pissed off at him, but he always found a way to make her Smile. And, in a weird way, he was messing with Derek for her. It was sweet… messed up, but sweet nonetheless.

 _Alright. You are forgiven this time! Don't do it again. If you do, no more cookies for you!_

He instantly sent a reply back.

 _Say it ain't so! You wouldn't deny me!_

Laughing she sent her last reply.

 _Try me :)_

She threw her phone into her purse before getting back to work on the case.

XXXX

Morgan watched as Gatlin smiled down the phone in his hands, while his finger furiously swept over the screen. Morgan didn't need to question who Gatlin was texting.

He growled in frustration.

Nothing was going right. He had all these plans when Penelope came back, but with Gatlin now in the way, everything had been shot to hell. Then add in this case. The UNSUB had escalated again a new disembody victim was found last night. Nothing was going right.

Thankfully, they all were taking a much needed breather right now.

He looked back at Gatlin, this time instead of anger running through him, pain did. _He_ used to be the one to communicate with Penelope. _He_ used to be the one who flirted endless through the phone, text, and in person with her. _Him_ not Gatlin.

That was _his_ baby girl, and right now he could feel her slipping away. More importantly, he could feel her slipping away from him and into Gatlin's arms.

He looked up from the phone to see Gatlin staring at him. A serious expression mirroring his face.

Ignoring it. Morgan grabbed his coffee cup and left the room.

Hours later, Morgan opened his hotel room door and dragged himself into the room. As of that moment, he hadn't gotten any sleep in over twenty-four hours. All he cared about was shutting his eyes and _hopefully_ having a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He reached behind him, pulling up and removing his shirt. Throwing it anywhere, he then towed off his shoes and socks as he made his way to the bed. Not caring about his pants still being on, he fell onto the mattress.

Hopefully tonight he wouldn't dream about her. Closing his eyes, he prayed for dreamless sleep, even if it was only a few hours.

Not even two minutes later there was a knock on his door.

Morgan gowned loudly.

Maybe if he ignored it, they would go away?

A second later the knock came more forcefully this time.

Morgan groaned as he sat up. "I'm coming," he said vehemently.

He made his way to the door, and without looking to see who it was he tossed it open. Who he saw on the other side made him want to instantly throw his arm out and swing. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Hiya sunshine," Gatlin said, pushing past Morgan and making his way into the room.

Morgan turned and watched in astonishment as Gatlin strode into his room, sitting on the only chair.

He must have been hallucinating. Yup, that's exactly what was going on.

"Are you just gonna stand there all night or are you at least going to ask me why I'm here?" Gatlin asked, nonchalantly.

Morgan was going to kill him. Hallucination or not. "Why are you here?" he growled.

Gatlin shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. So, I figured I might as well do something useful."

"And coming to aggravate the shit out of me is useful?" Morgan asked.

"Sure." Gatlin smiled. "I thought to myself: What could help me sleep, warm milk or messing with Morgan? Latter is what I chose in case you were wondering."

That's it. Morgan didn't care what type of paperwork Hotch was going to have to fill out. Gatlin was a dead man.

"I mean, I could have called _our_ girl, but an hour ago when I talked to her, she said she was finally getting some sleep. I didn't want to bug her so here I am."

"Not _our_ girl," Morgan corrected.

"Oh, but there is where you are wrong, Agent Morgan. Penelope Garcia is _our_ girl and right now. I'm here to help you win her back."

* * *

 _AN: Told ya he's not a bad guy :) What did you think? What story do you want updated next?_


	8. I Am Strong

**AN: You know, I have to tell you all I don't think I would be the person I am today without all of you. Your constant support amazes me. It's not easy putting yourself out there, on the internet or anywhere, but you all welcomed me with open arms. So, I thank you all. You all are the ones that make me want to write. And, make me want to keep putting myself out there. So, thank you!**

 **~ Polhop**

* * *

Morgan stared at Gatlin dumbly. Had he heard him correctly? Gatlin was here to help him win back Penelope? Morgan narrowed his eyes. Sizing up the man that sat on the edge of his bed, he couldn't help but feel like it was a trap. Why would Gatlin offer to help him, especially after the display he'd been making since they'd met?

"You don't believe me?" Gatlin questioned.

"Why should I?" Morgan crossed his arms over his chest. He might be going crazy dealing with Penelope but he was not so crazy he'd believe this buffoon.

"It's your choice," he replied. "But, heed this, Morgan. Right now, you'd never get back on her good side. As far you're concerned, she is done with you. When you left her _after_ sleeping with her and telling her and I quote, _I love you and I will always love you_ , you killed a part of her."

The second the words were out of his mouth Morgan's heart sank. The sure venom in Gatlin's voice spoke more to his character than he could have ever imagined. He knew it was hard for Penelope to open up and trust people and for her to lay everything on the line to Gatlin.

Penelope must hate him.

As the realization of his words sank in, he felt like his world was falling apart around him. He hurt her.

"I know it's not going to be easy, and even though you're an asshole I want to help you," Gatlin stated.

Morgan couldn't think straight. "What?"

Sighing Gatlin continued, "Do I think you're a fuckin' prick for hurting her? Yeah, I do. But, here's the thing, Morgan, she hurts because of how much she loves you. I can't even count the amount of times I would come back to our home and she'd be an emotional wreck. Hell, it took me forever for her to even open up to me."

Morgan's eyes softened as he listened to his words. "If I hurt her so much, why are you here? Why are you willing to help me?"

Morgan watched as Gatlin's face contorted into a pain he hadn't seen before. Then his face went hard. "I see the same love inside of you for Penelope that I had for Holly. It's the purest form of love. It's rare, and sometimes that scares us. Scares us so much we make stupid mistakes." He eyed Morgan, making sure his words sunk in. "If I didn't see that love between you two I would have done anything and everything in my power to make sure she was over you."

Derek tried to process the information Gatlin was giving him. He hadn't ever heard of a Holly before. "I, uh, wait a second. Back up, who's Holly?"

Gatlin closed his eyes. Morgan could see the pain written all over him. "Holly was the love of my life. Still is. She was taken from me far too soon by a madman."

Morgan could feel Gatlin's pain as it drifted through the room. "I'm sorry," Morgan said.

Gatlin looked to him. "There is no need to be sorry, but thank you." Clearing his throat Morgan could see him pushing away his pain before continuing. "That type of love is to pure to throw away." Gatlin stared into his eyes. "She died that day you left her in your bed. She might put on a convincing act, but inside she'd be hurting… Just like you."

Morgan pulled the desk chair over to Gatlin and sat. Somehow, he was seeing him in a new light. "So that's why you're willing to help me?"

Gatlin's face hardened. "I'm helping you because I love Penelope more than anything. She deserves a happy ending… and so do you."

XXXX

Penelope forced herself to open her eyes. Her dreams that were once fantasies now had become her nightmare. Wiping away the tears from her eyes, she did her best to push away her feelings. At night, she used to cherish the dreams that involved Derek. Now, she was plagued with the night he left her.

Her dream always started out as one of the most romantic things she had ever experienced. Declarations of love, lost and forever. Never failing by the end she'd be left alone, with her heart ripped in two. In that state, her emotions were always so clear, so open, so painful. Years and years, she had loved Derek from afar.

It was cruel for the universe to give her one perfect night with the man she loved only to take him away, crushing her.

"Damn it, Penelope. You are better than this. Better than constantly reliving something that hurts you. Get a grip!" She threw the covers off of her. Making her way to the bathroom, she turned on the shower. After adjusting the temperature. She got in.

Now, that the case was over and the team were on their way back, she was finally allowed to feel again. As soon as the case started, she had placed all her emotions into a box and hunkered down. Even at night, she'd push everything aside.

Penelope closed her eyes as the water washed over her. She felt broken. She had thought she was getting better, stronger even. Especially with Logan's help. Coming back to the BAU was a bad choice. Seeing Derek again, had reopened everything. Then to hear his pathetic excuses…

She finally let the tears fall.

Why wasn't _she_ good enough? How could he leave _her_ the way he did?

"I'll be okay," she said as she started to was herself. "I'm strong. I'm beautiful, and in the end, everything is a lesson. Today when I walk into the BAU I will have my head held high." Taking a deep breath, she reinvigorated herself. "I've got this. And, starting today I will let go of all my past feelings. Today, I start new. Nothing will bring me back to loving Derek."

* * *

 _AN: TOLD YOU Logan is a good guy! Now don't hate me… her POV will make everything all the better in the end lol._


End file.
